九月三十日
今天我做了一件惊天动地的事。我发了一则简讯给我的三嫂。原因很简单 ： 我再也看不下她对妈妈的不尊。
听说她信教了， 这根本不是一件坏事， 有宗教信仰是不错的， 因为无论任何宗教都没有教任何人对长辈不尊。我首先听到妈妈到处去寺庙找位子安置祖先； 妈妈已经很明显的告诉她， 除非爸爸或妈妈过世， 不然妈妈是不会请走祖先的。农历七月妈妈也说她一直问妈妈为什么还要拜？之后又听妈妈说她问妈妈能不能不拜菩萨？天啊！你有你的宗教信仰， 妈妈就不能有他的宗教信仰吗？为什么一定要强人所难呢？更何况妈妈是你的长辈？
其实家里的每个成员都很不开心， 但是没人敢出声；可是我真的再也咽不下这口气了！ 为了妈妈， 我一定要告诉她妈妈的感受。于是我发了一则简讯给三嫂， 内容如下：
Hi, why can't u let mum have the Buddha at home ? Does it hinder you ? I think u are being too unreasonable. My parents have given in a lot to u after shifting to Tanah Merah, , we only visit them on 3 occasions a year now. All of us know you treat them well, that's why everybody kept quiet, do you think u are going too far now ? They have just few more years to live, why can't u let them live happily ? I believe all gods teach u to be good, I don't think yr god teach you otherwise. I dun think u should do that to our elderly parents. Think about it! U really make mum very sad. Sigh....
不得了， 这则简讯让她暴跳如雷， 我是开心的 ！马上就回了一封长篇大论的电邮， 把所有陈年历史娓娓道来。 可见她一直以来都得我们家人不爽； 这封回邮让大家看清他的真面目。老公说得没错， 中国人就是中国人 ！十个当中十个如此 ！看看她写些什么吧 ：
Dear Guat Moy,
Your are in no position to accuse me anything, I would suggest you to refrain from making this kind of biased comments in the future, (to make matter worse, QJ read the SMS first because he was playing my iphone, it definitely stressed him a lot). Below are my reply to counter your accusation,
1."My parents have given in a lot to you after shifting to Tanah Merah"
I don't understand this, why you always think that it's my partents in law who have given in a lot instead of me? You are a daughter in law too, do you think that you can accept your mother in law and your sisters in law to your house every Sunday from morning till late night playing Majong and not helping anything with the house work, let alone bring food over?? Have you ever wondered which superwoman can do all this, marketing and buying everything without any help? Except your mother, that's the reason I admired her a lot. Do you know that she always complain to her friends that she were very tired doing everything last time while the other daughters just relaxed and gambled without giving a single cents? (except you and hong and Irena.) I am not capable enough to cater to so many people, I am very sure you can't do it too. Judging the way you live, your have never invited anyone to your house before, and you have never invited QJ to your house for swimming and gaming with Bryan before, there were a few pathetic times and that was when I requested.
I would think I am the one who have given in a lot, my previous neighbour(yes that crazy woman) and my friends all find it incredible that I could tolerate this. Let me tell you this, few daughters in law in Singapore can do this like I did. That why 2nd Sister in law had a fight with you all. You didn't reflect and still think that it was all other party's fault. This is always your problem, Hong and Irena are much more understanding than you.
2."we only visit them on 3 occassions a year now"
As I told mother before, all of you are welcome to visit them, sadly, no one except 2nd brother in law and Hong sometimes visit them. 2nd brother in law is poor, but he always buy food for mother and then they sit together and talk. It's so nice to see them together, this is a very good way of showing filial piety, that's the reason why I treat 2nd brother with respect. Maybe your idea of visiting is coming for dinner and all the sisters gambling together, then sometimes I may not be able to oblige you, because I do marketing once a week and of course, if we cook on the day you visit, I will be happy to ask you stay for meal. Alternatively, you also can visit mother whenever you want, you also can bring them out for meal during the weekends. Sadly, I am the only one who take them out for dinner, no one else did.(Hong maybe a few times)
3."I believe all gods teach you to be good, I don't think your GOD teach you otherwise"
I became a Christian by QJ's persuasion in April this year. I have never believed in any religion before. I dont agree with the Buddism the most. I can't tolerate the smell of the incense and the face of the idols. I have tolerated this for more than 10 years, in your words, I have "given in" for many years. Becoming Christian is the best thing I have ever did in my life. I determine to do good things in the rest of my life. There is only one GOD who created everything, and being a Christian we should not worship any other idol. Although I don't worship, I feel uncomfortable whenever I look at the idol. It's in my house and living room, I asked mother yesterday whether is was ok to remove the idol from my house, I asked in a very nice way, not the demanding tone, if I am being unkind and unreasonable, I will throw out the thing immediately. I will find a way to solve this matter peacefully. I would appreciate it if you don't interfere, you have no right to judge this matter. By the way, father is totally fine with the Christianity, he is more acceptable to the religion.
I always believe to treat elders with respect, I have a very good relationship with my parents in law, we love each other deeply. They are healthy and I believe they can live to another 15 years contrary to what you said "a few years to live". I do not want to quarrel with you to upset the parents, this is the last thing they want to see. I have another suggestion to you: do not judge other people too quickly or you will be judged.
Best regards,
Min
Your are in no position to accuse me anything, I would suggest you to refrain from making this kind of biased comments in the future, (to make matter worse, QJ read the SMS first because he was playing my iphone, it definitely stressed him a lot). Below are my reply to counter your accusation,
1."My parents have given in a lot to you after shifting to Tanah Merah"
I don't understand this, why you always think that it's my partents in law who have given in a lot instead of me? You are a daughter in law too, do you think that you can accept your mother in law and your sisters in law to your house every Sunday from morning till late night playing Majong and not helping anything with the house work, let alone bring food over?? Have you ever wondered which superwoman can do all this, marketing and buying everything without any help? Except your mother, that's the reason I admired her a lot. Do you know that she always complain to her friends that she were very tired doing everything last time while the other daughters just relaxed and gambled without giving a single cents? (except you and hong and Irena.) I am not capable enough to cater to so many people, I am very sure you can't do it too. Judging the way you live, your have never invited anyone to your house before, and you have never invited QJ to your house for swimming and gaming with Bryan before, there were a few pathetic times and that was when I requested.
I would think I am the one who have given in a lot, my previous neighbour(yes that crazy woman) and my friends all find it incredible that I could tolerate this. Let me tell you this, few daughters in law in Singapore can do this like I did. That why 2nd Sister in law had a fight with you all. You didn't reflect and still think that it was all other party's fault. This is always your problem, Hong and Irena are much more understanding than you.
2."we only visit them on 3 occassions a year now"
As I told mother before, all of you are welcome to visit them, sadly, no one except 2nd brother in law and Hong sometimes visit them. 2nd brother in law is poor, but he always buy food for mother and then they sit together and talk. It's so nice to see them together, this is a very good way of showing filial piety, that's the reason why I treat 2nd brother with respect. Maybe your idea of visiting is coming for dinner and all the sisters gambling together, then sometimes I may not be able to oblige you, because I do marketing once a week and of course, if we cook on the day you visit, I will be happy to ask you stay for meal. Alternatively, you also can visit mother whenever you want, you also can bring them out for meal during the weekends. Sadly, I am the only one who take them out for dinner, no one else did.(Hong maybe a few times)
3."I believe all gods teach you to be good, I don't think your GOD teach you otherwise"
I became a Christian by QJ's persuasion in April this year. I have never believed in any religion before. I dont agree with the Buddism the most. I can't tolerate the smell of the incense and the face of the idols. I have tolerated this for more than 10 years, in your words, I have "given in" for many years. Becoming Christian is the best thing I have ever did in my life. I determine to do good things in the rest of my life. There is only one GOD who created everything, and being a Christian we should not worship any other idol. Although I don't worship, I feel uncomfortable whenever I look at the idol. It's in my house and living room, I asked mother yesterday whether is was ok to remove the idol from my house, I asked in a very nice way, not the demanding tone, if I am being unkind and unreasonable, I will throw out the thing immediately. I will find a way to solve this matter peacefully. I would appreciate it if you don't interfere, you have no right to judge this matter. By the way, father is totally fine with the Christianity, he is more acceptable to the religion.
I always believe to treat elders with respect, I have a very good relationship with my parents in law, we love each other deeply. They are healthy and I believe they can live to another 15 years contrary to what you said "a few years to live". I do not want to quarrel with you to upset the parents, this is the last thing they want to see. I have another suggestion to you: do not judge other people too quickly or you will be judged.
Best regards,
Min
厉害吧 ！‘好一个忍气吞声的嫂嫂’ ！ 哈 ！我说她是个样样斤斤计较的小人才真！这个人根本不顾他人的看法及感受，以自我为中心。
要不是为了妈妈， 我肯定不做这么‘鸡婆’的事。事不关己，我又何必去理呢 ？但妈妈是位非常受人尊敬的长辈， 无论发生什么事， 她都会忍气吞声。就因为这样，让人利用她的弱点。如果三嫂是个明理的人，她肯定会考虑自己的行为并反思。相反的，她大发雷霆，并认为自己一点都没做错， 反过来痛骂我一顿！原来这个人本性如此，难怪她的妈妈一直都觉得不放心，要我们大家包容她。哎 ！知女莫若母 ！而我就象妈妈一样天真！妈妈一直都以为能把祖先的灵位安置在家， 直到她们任何一人不在世为止 ！
对不起妈妈， 我无能为力， 帮不了你！妈妈说住在人家的家， 没法子， 不然连屋子都没得住， 哎 ！！！人家不高兴看到的事，就由得她咯 ！
是的， 寄人篱下， 还是听天由命吧！
一则短讯让你评估一个人的品德， 要让别人尊重你， 首先得先懂得尊重别人 ！这个人根本不懂得尊重别人，那她又怎么值得你去尊重呢？正如“溏心风暴”中李司棋所说的， 我们还是是保持“普通朋友”关系吧 ！
且让我们拭目以待， 看看以后她的后辈怎样对待她； 走着瞧吧 ！
